Now , given the time and the responsibility to feed my hubby, I had been spending a lot of time at kitchen and on net, browsing food blogs..

I was fascinated by the fact that cooking can be so creative and versatile. When I started my experiments at kitchen, I started reaching out to my Mom and MIL for tips. Since they come from different states, their recipe for a dish always differed.. When I typed in for the same dish on the net, I got 10 more different ways to cook it.. Some of them used the regional ingredient, Some used the secret ingredient , Some had the special flavors and few had the special technique to cook..

Initially when I used to try any recipe, it was just a trial and error.. I used to type in for a dish, pick the recipe from one of the fancy blogs ( with greats pics), try it out. I never put any effort to understand what difference  an ingredient would make to the recipe  or a cooking technique. As time progressed, now I believe I am becoming a better judge.

 I watched the food network channel one day, I tell you, I could not think of anything other than food that whole day. Reading the food blogs with pictures of the mouth watering dishes, makes you crave for them…..

The fact is that cooking can be so creative…. You can learn so much about each and every ingredient, the flavors, different cuisines etc….. You can mix and match ingredients for a traditional dish, Voilà, your creation is ready…

The after effects of my enlightenment so far are –

• When I am shopping at a grocery store, my cart is way more filled than usual….. …….
• I am a few pounds heavier
• The best part is …. Now a days when I cook, I feel like an artist at work…

As she walked by the seated passengers, she caught a glimpse of the mystery eyes, which seemed very familiar. In her lost moment, she took a seat right next to the mystery man. He held her hand softly and patted them gently. She could not stop her tears at that moment. She just leaned on him and cried to her heart’s content.

She woke up in shock.. She tried to get back to sleep trying to recollect the face of the man whom she just saw in her dream.. before she knew she was fast asleep.

As she woke up, she tried to brush-off the thoughts about the dream and carry on with her routine. But it keep bothering her. It was not the first time she had seen those eyes in her dreams. Every time when she wakes up all she can recollect are those eyes.. She tried to give face to those eyes but always failed. This time she felt little guilty. She is happily married and yet she dreamt about the mystery man..

As she set the breakfast table, Sandeep walked in with his newspaper. As he settled in to the chair, he sensed the tension in his wife’s eyes. He stood up, gave her a gentle hug and blew a kiss by her cheek. He inquired “ Is everything fine? Honey…, You look worried”. She replied back “ Nothing… It’s about my dream last night…. I am unable to stop thinking about it..”. He continued “ Dear, how many times have I told you not to try and interpret dreams…Just relax. Everything is fine.. Everything is great indeed.. I am here to take care of things for you… I wouldn’t let anything harm you… trust me… That’s all you need to do..”

Unable to stop herself from smiling, she turned and look in to his eyes and that’s when she found the answer to her riddle… It was those same mystery eyes she had dreamed about for years, finally she was able to put face to those very eyes….

Madhu who was always considered the reserved type was close only to Ajay in their batch. Everyone who knew Ajay and Madhu, agreed they made a great couple. Many times friends teased Madhu about her relation with Ajay. She never agreed or denied.. As time progressed, they were secretly stealing glances at each other. . Irrespective of the fact that they were studying in the same class, sitting a bench apart and staying in the same building, they seemed to miss each other more than ever..  They were constantly mailing, chatting with each other and calling each other all the time.

When Ajay thought things were going well, he soon saw some changes in Madhu. She was very upset for the past few days. Every time they spoke, she kept talking about her parents. She was worried if she would able to meet their expectations and at the same time live life the way she wants. He kept assuring her that things would fall in place soon. Though she never mentioned about  marriage, Ajay realized may be she is being pressurized to get married. Since they had never openly talked about their love for one another, Ajay knew it is high time he proposed her and sorted out things.

 Being the romantic he was, he was just waiting for the right moment. He decided to propose her on Valentine’s Day which also happens to be her B’Day. He was excited and was looking forward to it. Just a week before the Val’D, Madhu mailed him a picture of a guy. Ajay knew something was wrong. He waited for their classes to end. Grabbed Madhu by her hand and took her to the park. Madhu was scared. She constantly asked Ajay to leave hold off her. Once they reached their favorite spot, Ajay let his hold off her and apologized for his behavior. He decided to clear things before it goes too far.. But the moment he looked in to her eyes. He was speechless. He just wanted to look at her for hours and hours..He could not speak a word.

Madhu blasted him for his behavior. She later told him about the guy whose picture she had mailed earlier. She confessed that it was a proposal her parents had finalized for her and she would be travelling back home to meet the guy in person. Ajay kept staring at her with teary eyes. As if she felt his heart ache.. She continued that she is not ready for the marriage now and plans on denying the proposal. Ajay just wished he could tell her, how relieved he was. Instead, he just smiled. He knew he had to make her B’Day the most memorable day in her life.

A week later, Madhu returned to classes after her trip home. She talked to Ajay with her usual enthusiasm… He was scared to ask her about things that happened back at home. He did not want to hear anything bad. He assured himself, things were fine or else Madhu would have told him. She never had hidden anything from him..

It was Valentine’s Day..It was 5.00 in the evening, Madhu was supposed to meet him at their favorite spot in the park. Ajay waited eagerly with the cards and the gifts,rehearsing the exact wordings for his proposal. He could feel his heart racing as Madhu walked in.. They talked for an hour about classes, climate, the park, college etc . When Ajay was about to hand her the valentine’s card, Madhu said “ Ajay, You are my best friend… I want to share the news with you first.. I am engaged..” and she proudly showed off her engagement bling.

Ajay was blank.. He could not find the words to congratulate her. He felt as if he is choking to death…Unaware of his emotions ,Madhu started narrating her trip back home, the discussion she had about  marriage with her parents. She mentioned that she discussed with her mom about her feelings for Ajay. And suddenly how it dawned on her that may be Ajay doesn’t love her as he never expressed anything like that..After meeting  Swaroop, her fiance, she felt may be she should give it a shot.

 She was glowing with happiness at that very moment… Ajay wanted to tell her that he too has feelings for her but he knew his action would just make things tough for Madhu. Ajay was happy for her and all he wanted was her happiness….

Today I stumbled in to a blog by one of my batchmate from college while searching for stuff regarding my technology (Kudos to search engines, that splits ‘Human Resources’ to ‘human’ & ‘resources’…) and later got to read many of my fellow BITSIANs’ blogs. It did not end there, I was browsing through links from there on to travel blogs, culinary blogs etc etc….

Primarily, I opened the laptop planning to prep for my assignment but ended up recollecting all those BITS days.  When I recollect those days, I just wish I can go back there once again with all my friends. Does everyone feel this way? Is it just me? It has been years since graduation and I miss BITS as if it was just yesterday.

Oops! I am acting like these search engines, diverting from the topic of discussion.

Though I blame these search engines for driving us crazy, I cannot imagine a day, browsing the internet without Google. They do make my task easy in many ways…

On a different note, how many of  you ever wished for a search button to find misplaced items at your home/dorm? I had thought about it everytime I misplace my items. I desperately wish someone can discover something like a F3 Search key for real life too…. .

I don’t love sweets.. I am someone who prefers spicy food to sweets. On the contrary my hubby loves sweets. Ironically, everytime I try to cook some sweet/dessert recipe for him, it just goes wrong. Even a simplest dish.. ( Forget about the complex ones, I know it isnt easy for an amateur like me). It is like I need to try any dessert/sweet recipe twice inorder to get it right. This is not the case when I try other recipes.. I get them close to perfect (atleast edible ) at the first try.

I always heard people tell me”  Do what you love… and love what you do..” , when I kind of get upset/frustrated  with things in my life. I was just wondering if this has something to do with the fact that I don’t love what I am cooking and hence I am unable to get them right… Silly ahh….. Is it really true? I hope not…….

May be some expert cooks can guide me.

My wish was granted sooner but unfortunately I am not really excited about it now… What ever I wished for is good, great,but only when u do it once in a while.

Being idle is really tough i say.Since the time,I took break from work, i had been more inactive than ever. I cannot recollect the time when i was so idle. It is like i have all the time in the world and have no clue what i want to do. When i was working i always felt 24 hours wasn’t enough in a day.

I am trying few things to keep me busy but nothing seem to do the wonder.

How about blogging actively? Believe it or not, there were numerous occasions when I knew exactly what i wanted to blog that day, i had the exact words in my mind. Everytime i open my laptop and try to jot them down, I just go blank. It is like my thoughts were already heard and i had nothing to say.

How about mastering the art of cooking? I am trying my hands on cooking. It is going great indeed. As you know, I can’t stand in the kitchen all day everyday. I keep looking for a change.

Obvious, update yourself on the technology you worked on.. I always wished I had time for it.. How about it now? The funniest thing about any technology is, it outgrows you all the time. By the time you understand version 7.5 , they have released version 7.9. It’s so boring learning it all alone by yourself. I always had fun learning it with my collegues with an hands on experience. Now that I have no one to talk to about the new things I am learning, I really find it not so interesting. On top of it, it makes me wonder if I really want to continue on this technology and or do something different? A major dilemma….ahh.

I did try few more things like arts and crafts etc, miserably nothing seems interesting after a few days…….

I think by the time I find things to keep myself occupied, it would be time for me to join the corporate race . Hopefully….I wish

P.S: Once i get back to work, i would be wishing for this idle time…. hehehe

Now when I am visiting my parents after a long time and watch them struggle to carry out even the normal activities with so much strain, it makes my heart ache.

Though I want to plan my life, get married, settle down, have my kids , I do not want my parents to sport the grey hair or the dropping shoulder or the poor vision. I am finding it difficult to accept the fact that they have grown old and can’t do things the old way.

Even today, sitting idle on the couch , I demand for a coffee to my mom “ Amma, Coffee venum maa, please”, hoping to hear her usual response “ 2 minutes da , chellam”, instead I hear her say “ Ennala mudiyala daa, nee potukirya” .I feel sad for that moment realizing I am no more a kid and need to parent my parents during their second childhood.

Why is it that I always wish to see my dad as the active hero whom I admire from childhood, someone who can do anything in this world. My mom,  the only talented lady in the colony, who can manage multiple tasks with an ease and a charming smile without a sign of any tiredness..

It was the time for the next doctor visit. This time we were required to meet a different specialist. I wasn’t really ready for this time. My parents warned me about the expected long waiting hours as the clinic doesn’t take any prior appointments. All the patients are required to come to the clinic and take a token for that day. This time it got even worse. We were waiting for our turn as per the token issued. After few hours, the doctor walked out and informed the crowd that he would be stepping out for an hour. His family met him at the clinic and they stepped out together. Since he assured to be back in an hour, we decided to wait….. He returned after 3 hours and half. I just had one question in my mind at that time. If the doctor had plans for a personal appointment, why do the clinic even issue token confirming that each patient would be diagnosed before noon.

In the both the cases, I saw patients who were old, with heart problems, blood pressure issues waiting for hours and hours at these clinics. It was so sad to see them getting restless and waiting for the doctor. I just wish soon we will see the day when things would be better organized as in other developed foreign countries…….

I was losing my cool witnessing all this. The only thought that kept running in my mind during those long waiting hours was   “GOD GIVE ME PATIENCE, BUT HURRY”.

Having grown up reading Fairy tales and watching a lot of movies, I did dream about my prince charming. I always thought I would fall in love at first sight. I would know the moment I meet my Mr. Right ….. But yes, it took  me a long time to realize, how stupid I was……:-)

It’s only in movies, that the heroine gets all clear hints from nature helping her to recognize her Prince charming. In reality, it’s all on you to know who your better half is……Though I knew I would surely fall in love, I was also adamant that I need a Raj who would ask for my hand in a very charming way to my dad like in DDLJ……

Finally the day arrived, when I met my prince charming. We became best friends. Unfortunately I did not realize it quick enough. I continued to wait for that magic moment when my heart would reach out to my Mr. Right. As life progressed, I realized I am falling in love with my best buddy who had been by my side always……. I had a tough time trying to figure out if I was in love. One fine day, it struck me that I had been in love all along…

Many of my friends tell me it took me forever to realize I was in love. Most of them knew they were in love in weeks, months or just a couple of years……. Don’t blame me. Blame those novels, movies and tales. I was expecting my love story to be like the one in RHTDM/ DDLJ/Pride and Prejudice…….. No one told me ever that God scripted a love story especially for me ……….

I do agree with one thing in all these stories, yes, IT FEELS GREAT TO BE IN LOVE.

While I meddle with my thoughts, i hear a thunderstorm followed by a heavy down pour…… I know where i want to be at this very moment ………Back in BITS Pilani… outside my room 123 Malaviya Bhavan with my dearest wingies. I still remember the day, when I and my wingies, played in rain , getting ourselves completely wet. It was our psenti sem at BITS and even a rain meant something special to us. We did not want to miss even a single minute that semester…….  It was the most memorable time during my BITS days…. I had my close circle of friends, my wingies, my juniors, my closest ones and most important my Shahju=) . I felt i had it all. I was just waiting to step out of BITS and start my career…………

I wish i have a time machine that I could take me to that very special day at BITS with my special ones around………… Miss you BITS………….. Miss you girlings……….. Miss you all………..

I wonder how Jane Austen got this idea to bring together the different human characteristics with the various characters. Like Elinor Dashwood – sensible, Matured, reserved and more responsible, where as Marianne– Romantically inclined, Expressive, Outgoing and Dreamer… Mrs. Fanny Dashwood – Selfish and snobby …Ms. Lucy Steele – Manipulative, Cunning and rather selfish… Mrs. Dashwood – Emotional, Mrs. Charlotte Palmer – Empty-headed………….and so on. I feel each and every character in this novel is unique.

Jane Austen wrote this novel at the age of 19.Its so surprising that she could put together these different characters and give us such a beautiful story at that young age. I do like the ending of the story a lot. Though Elinor faces obstacles in her love life initially, she finally marries her love Edward, while Marianne finds happiness with Colonel Brandon whom she did not initially love.

I have watched the movie adaption of this novel in both English and in Tamil. I like both the movies but I believe my first choice would be ‘Sense and Sensibility’ by Emma Thompson when compared to the Tamil Movie ‘Kandukoden Kandukonden’ . When you read a novel about a British family in 18th Century, you would prefer the movie to take you back to the 18th Century in Britain. That is what we get in ‘Sense and Sensibility’ by Emma Thompson. But yes, it was great attempt by Rajiv Menon to write the screenplay to suit the 21st Century audience……….

One of my all time favorite novel and will always be……

First of all, let me share my experience of playing a role of a Fashion Show Coordinator for the annual day event at my work place. 

Yeah, I took in charge of assisting the cultural committee in organizing a Fashion Show event. My association with Fashion Show started in 2006 after my return from US. (Girls, those who know me from College days, please hold on your surpriseJ, there is more to come!!) .I did take part in the Fashion show in 2006 organized by my company. 

 The Fashion show 2006 did turn out to be a failure as it lacked all the key components required for a Fashion show like good costumes, music, make up and great modelsJ. What we had was all a good choreographer who could train us on ramp walk and sequences. 

My experience in 2006 gained me this responsibility this year to handle the fashion show. I decided this year, I would do my best to make it a success at least a good one which would be acknowledged by the organization and my colleagues. Also I decided I would never walk the ramp especially after gaining those extra poundsJ. 

On day 1, I demanded few things from the event management group who were appointed to help us in organizing the whole event.  

My point was clear – “We are software professionals. We are good at our technology and work. We are no models. We need complete guidance and support in organizing the Fashion Show. My Goal was that all the participants and the audience, they enjoy the event J “. 

With my experience in the past, I demanded for Active Participants, Good Fashion show choreographer, Very good costumes, Good Make up and Good Music. 

My demands were met either very late or in correctly.  

To start with, we called for nominations from the associates. Unfortunately very few turned up for the nomination. Basically we didn’t have any elimination instead we ended up convincing them to stay back. Later after few days, the participants started dropping off like flies. In the end we were just left with 3 girls and 4 guys. 

Normally, we at least require 10 participants to fill the stage. Finally, two of us from the cultural committee we decided to fill in the gap. Hence I broke my decision to avoid walking the ramp. 

Secondly, we met with the choreographer who was appointed to help us practice ramp walk and also to plan the sequences. He was reluctant to train the girls. I am sure everybody would agree that it is girls who need to learn the ramp walk to perfection. They need to know the style and the swings. For guys it is all about carrying their attitude with confidence.  

He decided the sequences just two days before the event and he could never guide us on the timings and the entry/exit for each of the sequences. After the practice session, it was the participants ourselves who took some extra time, practiced the sequences, and planned the timings, exit and entries for each sequence. 

Thirdly, updates about the Music. We practiced for some chosen music and when we really walked the ramp on the D-day, the music was a different one. We managed it but still we weren’t happy with the music. We were dressed in western where as the music was slow suiting a traditional sequence. 

Finally, the Costumes……… Wow!! That was such a disastrous experience. A week before the event, we met with the Fashion designer. We called up all the participants and provided our measurements for the costumes. We left the Designer’s boutique agreeing to meet up three days before the event for a costume rehearsal. 

After continuously demanding for the planned dress rehearsal, the designer finally agreed to meet us a day before the event for the dress rehearsal. We walked in to the boutique expecting to see great designer outfits. We were surprised to see that she had just picked some outfits from her collection which were not custom fitted for us. I really could not understand why we wasted a day to travel all the way to give measurements.  

After spending 6 hours, we finally picked some costumes half heartedly just because we did not wish to see all our efforts go waste by walking out of the fashion show at the last minute. When we tried to question the designer about why the costumes were not custom fitted the response we got was “You girls are too short/fat… these costumes are designed for models”. I wanted to blast her and say “We never claimed to be the models, we came to you so that you can design some outfits which would look good on us” but instead, I tried to smile away ignoring her words. I tried to maintain some harmony between the participants and the designer.  

Late in the evening, all the participants we met up and I could hear many of them complaining about the costumes and few threatening to walk out of the sequences.  

To add to the disaster was the trial make up. I had actually asked for a make up trial so that we can decide the makeup personnel based on the trial results. Unfortunately even the make up personnel turned up just a day before the event, during the late evening hours. I sat patiently for the trial make up and was horrified when I had a glance at myself with the make up on. I was completely broken. I knew the audience would laugh at us, if at all we walked with those costumes and make up on the ramp. 

We called up our organizers, had a hot discussion for an hour and left home assuming that we are not walking the ramp the next day. On the day of event, late in the morning I got a call to meet the organizers and choose my costumes for the first sequence. I walked in to the shop with no interest and just the nodded to the costume picked by my friends.   I decided I would never walk the ramp. I would redo the sequences and help the group perform. 

In the end, just to avoid any last minute changes to the sequences, I walked the ramp in those costumes picked by my friends for the first sequence and the ones picked by the designer for the second sequence.  Though the organizers did not agree to change the make up personnel, we managed to teach him to put a decent make up so that we don’t scare away the crowd. 

So far the most memorable experience of this year had been my involvement in this fashion show. In the year 2006, no one was able to recognize me on the ramp; on the contrary, I did receive some compliments for the show this year. I am glad that I was successful in making it better than the one conducted in 2006. I did partially meet my goalJ. 

When I look back at the whole event from the day we started organizing the fashion show till the day we walked the ramp, I see that I had experienced a rainbow of emotions including fun, excitement, responsibility, disappointment, frustration, anger and relief. I felt I would do a tightrope walking with more ease rather than organizing a fashion show.

 If you have read Linda Goodman, you would agree to her description of typical Sagittarius women. Yes, like she had quoted, I love collecting each and every thing which would stand as a memory of my time spent with my close friends and dearest ones. So as you could imagine, I had these trunks loaded with gifts, dolls, greeting cards, some junk (as my mom quotes)……. 

During this Christmas holidays I decided that I need to really clean my stuff ( actually mom had threatened me that she would get rid of those stuff if I don’t really clean them up ). It was a very nice experience cleaning my stuff. Instead of getting rid of the unwanted, I was actually reading each and every piece of paper and also was narrating the story behind the stuff in those trunks to my mom. I just wished I had owned a time machine which would take me back to those memorable school and college days. Though my mom felt most of these were junk, I just loved each and everything I had collected. Some weird and interesting things which I had collected were 

• Small post its with messages from my friends
• A sheet of paper with list of my BITS second Semite senior names which I had memorized during my fresher days
• Bus Tickets from Delhi to Pilani
• Mess Coupons
• Wrappers of chocolates gifted by my friends
• Letters from my brother, Mom and dad
• Entry tickets to Panchavati, where we ragged our immediate juniors
• Invite for Bhavan nites
• Grub Coupons
• My farewell write up
• Greeting cards and gifts
• Oasis movie tickets
• Time Table books of each semester, BITS Magazine, Year book and so on……….

 This was just 70% of my so called junk, remaining 30% I collected during my 8 months stay in USA . Even it was a collection of similar things like – 

• Train tickets
• BUS schedules in Summer, Spring and Fall
• Tickets of the Baseball match at Dunn Tire Park
• Souvenir from ‘ Shakespeare at the Park’
• Tickets of visit to Sears Towers, CN towers
• Souvenirs from ‘Taste of Buffalo’ event
• Souvenirs which I had collected during my trip to Bahamas
• A print out a calendar which highlights my plan in the month of August to see various place in the city of Buffalo

 And so on………….

 In the end, with a heavy heart I did get rid of 10% of the stuff which included gift wrappers, answer sheets, some posters and some chocolate wrappers . I do have all the required stuff to make a scrap book with all these so called ‘junk’. I just wish I get a vacation for a month so that I can capture all these junk in my scarp book .  

I am sure It would be always great recollecting those memories any time later.

What say?? Could you please recommend for my vacation to my superiors here at work??

When you consider the factor of ‘Satisfaction of the couple’, I would say it is there in both the cases. In LM, the couple assumes, this is what they want and they go for it and in AM, the couple feels, this would work for them and they go for it. We can never be sure which one would be 100% successful. It depends on many factors like how they compromise with each other, mutual understanding etc. There had never been any statistics where all LMs were successful or all AMs were a failure and vice versa. In the end, I feel it boils down to the individual couple. 

Next let’s compare it on the factor of ‘Satisfaction of both the family members’. Many people believe that in most of the cases of LMs, the parents are forced to bend to their child’s wish and hence they are not really happy. They do a sacrifice for their kids. Like in case of inter-caste/inter-religion marriages, there is a lot of compromise on the customs from both the sides. Even I used to believe on this factor strongly. I always felt when I look at this factor, AM is better than LM.  

But this is not true. If you closely observe the AMs, even there they face such issues. The only difference is, in case of LM the problems are visible to the son/daughter as they act as the bridge between the two families whereas in case of AMs they don’t communicate such problems to their son/daughter. They try to keep their son/daughter out of such issues so that it doesn’t affect their relationship with the in-laws.  

Finally let’s talk about the most important factor ‘Satisfaction of the relatives/society members’. Being a part of the younger generation when I hear my parents say ‘We cannot go against the society norms, we need to follow it’ I do get upset at times. I feel I am more like a bird caught in an invisible cage of society norms. Things are changing but it would be our younger generation who would enjoy the freedom better than us. Our generation, we have seen a lot of western as well as the Indian traditions. Though we would like to take the best of both, we don’t get the freedom to do so, due to the so called society norms. Anyways it’s a different topic all together. 

Coming to this factor, if you see LMs, there are always a lot of talks about the marriage among the relatives/society members. Everyone talks about it for days as if something very strange had happened. You need to be bold enough to ignore their comments. Even in case of AMs, irrespective of if you plan for a grand wedding ceremony or a simpler one, few people would always find faults. Some people they have opinion on everything and anything. So I don’t believe this factor makes much difference between the AMs and LMs.

 To conclude, I feel be it an AM or a LM, each has its own set of Plus and minus. In the end what matters is how the couple lives together happily. If you want to marry someone, be it someone whom you chose yourself or the one chosen by your parents, the success purely depends on you and your life partner. All the other factors are very much temporary…… 

Oops!! Really a long blog!!J. Anyways, shall keep you all posted when I get married J. Fingers crossed……… 

On September 24^th 2007, the day of Twenty20 World Cup finals, sharp at 5.00 PM, most of my colleagues left from work to catch up with the finals at 5.30 PM IST. We all were excited as India made it to finals and to add to our excitement was the fact that India was playing against Pakistan. This duo is always a favorite one here in India.  

As usual, I stayed late at work as I had some task to finish. Me and my other team members who were working in second shift, we had been trying to ring up our friends and get updates of the scores at least every 5 minutes. I would say I was almost watching the game virtually.  

I was getting really late and I had to leave from work. I was on the way back home when my cab driver stopped near a junction. It was the last over and we were eagerly following the game. We waited till we heard the commentator say out loud ‘India Wins……’.  I happily got out of the cab to catch an auto to reach home. To my surprise, most of the vehicles stopped moving, most of the people were out on the road, shouting and celebrating the victory. Few people even burst crackers. I should say it was a festive mood all around. 

When I got in to an auto, the auto driver gave me a big warm smile and said “Madamji, Patha hai?? India-ne match Jeet liya” (Do you know?? India won the match). I just smiled back at him and started my ride back home.  On the way, I saw a lot of young crowd, rushing to Café, buying crackers and so on. I felt as if the day started at 10.00 PM in the night. The whole crowd was happy and brisk. 

Wow, this one game brought so many Indians together.  Thank you, Team, for bringing the Cup back home . I learnt ‘ One Victory equals thousands of smiles ‘

Usually, they say, we lose craze for a song with time. But strangely, I keep humming these lines now and then….. I just love them. I thought of jotting it down here, so that even with time if I forget it, this blog would help me recollect one of my favorite songs later in future. 

“Enduko emito intakaalam ento dooram 

Mundare undigaa sontamayye santosham”………. 

Here I am ,once again humming these lines before I go to sleep……

Now with Aishwarya Rai being world famous after winning the Miss World Beauty Pageant, I have been experiencing funny things when it comes to my name. Many people who had not seen me and who talk to me over the phone/mails have a high expectation about my looks since I am named Aiswariya. They believe I would look as beautiful as Aishwarya Rai. I tell them ‘Yes, My Mom always tells me that I look beautiful ’. 

Once my team member told me about his friend’s reaction when he had told them that he works with a girl by name Aiswariya. All his friends told him it seems that he must be working with pretty girl like Aishwarya Rai. .   My team member just smiled when I asked him ‘what did you reply to them??’  

Sometimes people do remember me very well just because I share the name with a celebrity. When I walk in to the mail room and ask for any mails for Aiswariya, they immediately give me the bunch of mails. He gives me a big smile and says ‘Here are the mails for Aishwarya Rai ’ 

The funniest incident happened when Aishwarya Rai was getting married to Abhishek. I walked in to a mobile shop and in the discussion I said my name is Aiswariya. The Shop keeper asked me ‘So Madam, did you find your Abhishek??’ 

So far I think I always liked my name not for the reason it is same as that of a celebrity’s but just because it is my parent’s first gift to me, My name Aiswariya.

 Now here is a question for you all, How many times have I used the word ‘Aiswariya/Aishwarya’ in this blog??

For unknown reasons, I developed this wish to be independent. As I said earlier, I have been away from home for the past 7 years, When I did my graduation it was my group of friends in college, who were my world. Later I started working and it was my friends at work place who was everything to me. There were always few of my friends who pamper me, few who guide me and few who just leave me on my own. I enjoyed all their company. I never felt alone as I was always in a group. 

It was first time in the year of 2005 when I traveled to Pune on a project all alone. I was away from all my friends and family. The Project kept me busy; I did make a few friends at work place. As I take time to open up, the time I made friends I was traveling back to Hyderabad.  

That was the first time I realized it is not so easy being independent, at least for me.  For every decision I made, I wanted to look around and see if someone can tell me if I am right or wrong. I really missed my friends circle.  Is it my weakness of being interdependent on my friends? I did have a good time in Pune alone but I am sure with my friends and family I would have had a better time. 

So what do I really mean when I say I want to be independent?  Do I mean I do not want my friend’s suggestions/opinions?? Do I mean I can survive all alone??

 If I simply go by the definition of Independent, I meant I need to function all alone understanding my positives and negatives.  When I was missing my friends and family I could see the interdependence. I knew my interactions and communications with them would make my life even a better one with loads of fun. 

May be being interdependent is not a sign of weakness. I understood I can still continue to maintain my individuality though being interdependent.  

Later I learned about the term ‘Co-Dependent’. “Co-dependency allows the actions of others to determine the quality of our life. It is based on self-limiting beliefs and care-taking of others with little regard for yourself”. Exactly! which I did not wish to do. 

Now I know what I wished for. I want to be Independent, Interdependent but no co-dependency.   

Let me repeat it for myself again – “I want to be Independent, Interdependent without Co-Dependency.” 

 It makes a lot of sense nowJ. Isn’t it??

I and two of my friends had set out of home planning for a shopping on Saturday. We were heading towards Secunderabad when it started pouring heavily. For a fraction of second we thought about changing our destination and reach a place near Lumbini Park to enjoy the weather. Later for unknown reasons, we decided to stick to our earlier plan and reached Secunderabad. We did our shopping and started towards home around 7.45 PM.  

Both of my friends started receiving calls from their friends and relatives enquiring about the bomb blasts and our safety. That was the moment we learnt about the bomb blasts which happened in Koti and Lumbini Park. We rushed towards the bus stop and got a bus to home. 

On the way to home, suddenly the bus was stopped by an individual. He complained about the fume coming out of the exhaust and how it is hindering the traffic. He explained that it is risky for the vehicles coming behind the bus and it would be safer to stop the bus. He even threatened to call the Police if we do not stop the bus.  The driver panicked and he had to stop the bus. Most of the passengers volunteered and walked out of the bus as even at that moment, we did not want to be the cause of any accidents/life loss by continuing our ride in the bus. 

The city was under red-alert and all of us were advised to reach home at the earliest. It was 50 of us from the bus trying to find a mode to commute to respective homes.  

We all three, my self, Kamini and Mahak, we got down and we started looking for an auto rickshaw. Most of our mobile network was jammed and we could not reach any one. The Tension was building up.  

Fortunately, Kamini’s brother and his friend happened to pass by on a Bike. We stopped them and explained them that we are stuck and unable to get back home. 

We were totally 5 of us who had to reach home now. We just had one bike. My friend Kamini and her brother, volunteered to stay back. They asked me and Mahak to join the other guy on bike and reach home. We all three rode on the same bike and we reached home. I admire Kamini and her brother for considering our safety first without bothering about theirs. Later they managed to get home safely after waiting for hours for an auto rickshaw.  

I was wondering how different we humans are as individuals. There were those guys, who planted the bombs, remained the cause of the loss of so many lives. Here is my friend and her brother who were more concerned about others than themselves.

I have come across many people who have changed their values just because they felt they would be ridiculed by others for their values. Even I myself, many times have remained silent in discussions because of the fear of being judged by others on my opinions. How far can I go to please others?? Is this really what I want to be?? No. Not at all. 

It is not always possible to please everyone around us. One of my qualities may be adored by a couple of friends but the same may be ridiculed by others. I realized that it’s high time I stop trying to please others or bothering about me being judged by others. I would like to start living this life my way.  

Recently I read this poem and I liked it a lot. Thought of sharing the same here –

Because it has lived its life intensely

the parched grass still attracts the gaze of passers-by

The flowers merely flower,

and they do this as well they can.

The white lily, blooming unseen in the valley,

Does not need to explain itself to anyone;

It lives merely for beauty.

Men, however, cannot accept that ‘merely’. 

If tomatoes wanted to be melons,

they would look completely ridiculous.

I am always amazed

that so many people are concerned

with wanting to be what they are not;

what’s the point of making yourself ridiculous? 

You don’t always have to pretend to be strong,

there’s no need to prove all the time that everything is going well,

you shouldn’t be concerned about what other people are thinking,

cry if you need to,

it’s good to cry out all your tears

(because only then will you be able to smile again).